Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Relinquishing (the illusion of) Control of the Universe
.
One of the
hallmark symptoms of alcoholics and addicts everywhere is the desire and
attempts to control situations, people, places and things. If you have any
active alcoholics in your life, or if you are in recovery, you will understand.
If you are suffering yourself from an addiction, you may not yet be able to see
this in your own life. That is called Denial.
But you don’t have to be an addict to be a ‘control freak’, this is a
symptom that runs rampant, and runs havoc, through many people’s lives.The irony
is, that the more a person attempts to control outcomes in their lives, and in
the lives of others, the more out of control life gets. This is very plain for
someone considering stopping or cutting down alcohol or, say, tobacco use. Even
the thought of some sort of control or
diminishment of the substance of addiction creates an increased obsession
to use or drink. Ask anyone who has
tried to stop smoking more than once, or someone who is coming off of a strict
diet, the next phase is often called Binge!
As human
beings, we are all seeking some sort of comfort and happiness. In the
beginning, addicts found this sense of well-being in the drink or the drug, but
it did not last. And not only did the sense of ease and comfort not last, but
it did, in fact turn the tables on the alcoholic, and his or her loved ones and
family. The active alcoholic roars through life like a tornado, creating
destruction and pain wherever he/she goes.
Trying to
regain that comfortable ‘happy’ feeling, the alcoholic tries a little harder,
trying different tactics. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says: “Is he not
a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of
this world if he only manages well?” (p. 81). And this is the delusion that
will lead an active alcoholic to jails, institutions or death.
In Step 1,
the alcoholic realizes and admits they are powerless over alcohol, and their
lives are unmanageable. No amount of human willpower or control will change
that. Step 2 suggests that the ability
for the miracle of sobriety will come only from an act of Providence. Step 3 is
when the alcoholic decides that they will let this Providence work in their life, and asks for help. In the
rooms of AA you can hear that “God is a gentleman. He will only enter your life
if you humbly ask Him.” When a person invites a Higher Power to take over the
care of their will and their lives (or thoughts and actions), everything
changes. In 12 Step language this is
called surrender. We know how most people feel about surrender – awful!! But,
we are challenged to look at this surrender in a new way. Surrender = Moving to
the Winning Side. And this does change everything.
In Step 3,
we make a decision that we are now going to do the best we can to align
ourselves with God’s will. An extraordinary concept to someone used to trying
to run the whole show. The person is relinquishing control, and will do their
best to now live life on life’s terms, not their own terms. And the amazing thing happens. When real recovery begins, the alcoholic becomes
willing to do many things that were completely unfathomable at one time. The
moral inventory, the forgiveness, the restitution, the helping of others, the
selflessness, these things are now not only possible, but desirable. All the years of chasing happiness through
attempts to control and achieve self-gratification failed. The alcoholic finds,
beyond their wildest dreams, that happiness is a byproduct of good living, and
doing the right thing.
After Step 1
and 2, none of the other steps can be completed authentically without doing
Step 3. The action steps of becoming honest and clearing away the wreckage of
the past become the unexpected vehicle for happiness. Happy for no reason?
Well, in addiction recovery we very well know the reason. The reason is that we
have stopped playing “God” in our own lives, and have surrendered to a God of
our understanding that is a power greater than ourselves. In recovery,
happiness is an inside job, but there is a lot of work to be done first.
CALL TOLL FREE TODAY!
1-866-915-1525
Affordable Rehab for Addiction
Serenity Vista
Boquete, Chiriquí, Panama
info@serenityvista.com
Phone: 1-866-915-1525 / 1-786-801-3670
Local Phone: 6839 0569
Fax: 888 597 7629
